The Life of a Teen Mother

That's what was going through my mind the morning of October 12, 2010. At 2:35 a.m, my heart sank. As I saw the two lines on the stick, I didn't know how to react. Lots of emotions ran through my mind: excited, anxious, nervous, but most importantly, I was scared.

Immediately after I found out, I texted my bf and told him. I would see him at school that day, however, I didn't know how he would react. 

My bf and I (at the time) had been together for a year and a half. We had talked a little about having children, however, we didn't know it would come this soon. We both were in high school. I was a junior, he was a senior.

Like every other couple, we had our shares of ups and downs. However, we both believed we would be together until the day we died. Questions began to pop into my head: How am I going to finish school raising a child? What will my parents think? What will people at school think? What am I going to do? I tried to lay down and get some more sleep before school that morning, however, it was impossible to do with that much on my mind.

That day at school, I met my boyfriend by the doors of Columbus North High School. We walked to the gym, where we sat on the steps and talked. He didn't really say much, however, he did tell me that he wasn't dropping out of school and asked if I wanted to in order to take care of our child.

I knew being a teen mother wouldn't be easy but the last thing I wanted to become was a drop out. As the days went on, I knew I would have to tell my parents. My relationship between my step dad and I wasn't as close as before, so I only focused on telling my mom. I couldn't get the courage to tell her, so I wrote her a 7 page letter telling her I was pregnant. She wasn't home from work when I got home from school, but when she did arrive, she told me everything would be alright and as a family we would get through it. My boyfriend told his parents who were supportive as well.

As I began to show, I didn't really care what people thought of me anymore, as I knew this child wouldn't affect my grades this year. I was due June 20, 2010 (after school let out for the summer). We found out we were having a girl and decided to name her Maci Lynn. There were medical issues during my pregnancy.

As one of the tests performed at the OBGYN, I was showing signs of having Down Syndrome in my blood stream which led me to taking a trip to Indianapolis. They offered me an abortion, just in case my child did have DS.  :'(

11:30 am -June 16, 2010

My contractions began. On my way to the hospital, crying from the pain the whole way there in the back of my sister's car, I remember thinking to myself: "This is it; This is the start of a new life with my daughter. This is the moment that motherhood sinks in."

As I got settled into the hospital, hours passed before any pregression was made. Around 5:30 am on June 17, pushing began. An hour of pushing and pain, my beautiful baby girl made her grand entrance to the world. 7 lbs, 19 1/2 inches, born at 6:26 a.m. Having Maci wasn't just the start of motherhood, it was also the start of abandonment.

-skipping ahead to school starting- 

Junior year, August 2011-12

                By this time, I was a single mother, living with my grandma. She helped me out significantly. Having a child and going to school was a tough battle. The long nights, and early mornings didn't mix. I saw many days where I didn't see more than an hour of sleep. My grades dropped alot. I even failed a class or two in which I had to make up my senior year. However, I was devoted to finishing high school and graduating. I got my act together, and brought my grades back up. I got enrolled in online classes as well to make up the onces I had failed. After coming home from school, picking up Maci from her dad's house, doing homework and online school, and eating dinner, it was 11 p.m before I could think about even laying down.

As school was released for Chiristmas break, I began to feel not like my usual self. On the night of December 24, 2011, while I was laying in bed trying to sleep, I felt a hard knot in my stomach; it moved, then disappeared. I remember thinking, "Oh no, not again!" I bought a test and found out I was indeed pregnant with baby number two. Like before, I texted my mom and even my grandma to tell them the news.

Maci's dad (my ex) wasn't as thrilled about this baby as he was about Maci. After a few months, I found out I was due June 16 and having another girl. Once again, grades began to slip. There were a few times when I even went to my councelor and told her I was planning on dropping out because it was getting too stressful on me. Between missing school for the doctor appointments for Maci and my OBGYN, I was getting behind on assignments and couldn't take the stress anymore. She told me to take two days off, and come back after the weekend, refreshed and caught up in work. To my surprise, It worked. I felt like a new person. I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I was not going to drop out; I was going to graduate being a teen mother of two.

On May 28, 2011, I walked across the stage with my little girl watching me. I knew she would be very proud of me. 

On June 10, 2011, I delivered my second child, Maileigh Leann. She was 7 lbs, 19 1/2 inches, born at 8:54 am. A week after Maileigh was born, their father was arrested where he spent 4 moths in jail, leaving me to tend for a new born and a 1 year old alone.

*I wasn't proud to become pregnant at 16, let alone get pregnant again at 17, and again at 19. However, I am proud to say that I finished high school, and am attending college. I wouldn't recommend any teen to get pregnant nor would I wish it on my worst enemy.

I have been through many struggles and obstacles, and know the difficulties of them. I know what it is like to get abandoned by family, lose the love of your life, and become a single parent. I know what it was like to have friends, and can see what life is without them.  I thought having a child would bring my ex and I closer together, but in the long run, it actually brought us further apart.

I take care of my children 24/7, get up with them in the middle of the night, take them to their doctor appointments, feed and bathe them; I am basically a mother and a father to them. I do not receive child support, we are both jobless, which might not make us the best parents, but I take care of my children the best I can. I do receive food stamps which helps signifantly, but if that makes me a bad mother, then so be it.

I have heard teens say it is hard to be a teen parent, when in reality they have no clue how hard it is, until multiples are involved. Yes I was on birth control (the pill), but I will admit, I didn't take it as I should. Most the time, I forgot to. No, I wasn't out having sex and partying everyday. I rarely hung out with friends after school, don't drink or do drugs. No one thought I would be the one to get pregnant. I know I disappointed a lot of people between teachers, friends, and family, but I do not regret my children. I do wish things were alot better or happened differently, but my children are a blessing from above. I am due with baby girl number 3 September 19, 2012.

Long story short;

Don't think it won't happen to you because it can. Whether or not you are on birth control, there is not a 100% chance you won't get pregnant. Stay away from sex if you want the full 100% chance of not becoming a teen parent.

If you are going to have sex, use protection, DOUBLE protection: condom and birth control. Becoming a mother is the greatest feeling I have ever felt in my life, but think about all the sacrafises you may have to make, the changes in your life that might take place, and the people you may lose. Think to yourself, "is it worth giving up alot to become a parent?" To this day, my babies daddy and I still aren't as close as we used to be, let alone being together again.

Many things flash and are gone before your eyes, after becoming a teen parent. Don't rush it; Live your life to the fullest. Accomplish anything you want to get accomplished before having a child. Take it from someone with experience. I lost a lot of people in my life who I thought would never abandon me, especially after having a child.

If you do find yourself being a teen parent, don't give up on your biggest dreams. You can do anything you set your mind to. Remember, there are people you can talk to, many support groups you can join, especially on facebook. It's not the same but it is a start!

As a mother of 3, you just learn to take life with each day that is given and make the most of them. Once again, don't ever think teen pregnancy won't happen to you!

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