Erotic love or lust is often mistaken for true love

The photo used in this article inspired the rest of the story - we debated on posting this photo at all.

Someone had posted this photo on our Facebook wall. He was serving in Iraq and came home to learn his wife had an affair while he was deployed.

"As we all know factory's can be known places for people to find secret lovers.. unfortunately like mother like daughter she did to me as her mother did to her father..what a shame. just thought i would share a photo someone came across and there my wife was in it, and i knew from her admittance prior that it was someone she worked with, go figure he is most likely in the crowd somewhere."

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The commitment of marriage shouldn't be taken any lightly than a commitment fighting for our country. Service men and women all the time make the sacrifice to protect America's freedom thinking/hoping when they leave their family behind, they will be there waiting staying true to their commitment of marriage.

That isn't the case with unknown percentage of our military who come home and learn their wife/husband has left them for someone new - or had an affair while they were placing their life in danger fighting for them. It goes both ways though, military personnel cheating on their spouse while being deployed is also a problem and unfair.  (Read more about cheating military)

Have you asked yourself why this happens? I'm sure each and every one of those people who learned their spouse was unfaithful while they were away has.

Did they cheat to be cruel? Did they cheat to be selfish (yes)? Did they cheat because they felt alone? Many reasons could have played into why it happened, my thought is the lack of touch/feeling plays a toll on our being. The stress of not knowing whether or not their loved one is coming home, sometimes not seeing them for several years with the exception of a few days of leave. Is that enough? It should be...

Marriage is too easy, love is too easy - it doesn't take relationships long to say the words "I love you" solidifying a commitment of "forever", but love is thrown around so quickly the feeling behind it is clouded. Some would argue they knew right from the moment they saw that special someone, and others would say, I want to see where this leads - I am in a good place right now and I am having the time of my life. Even some say the words after intimate relations, this seems to be the cause of poor judgment, the satisfaction of intimacy overtakes our brains. 

That's right, we wait, we claim we're in love - but really, could it be you're in love with the idea you're in love. The dream, we all want to know someone wants to be with us FOREVER.

Forever is no longer a frame of time - but a lack of understanding.

The movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days" has a perfect example; When Matthew and Kate were at dinner (Day 1), she asks him, Yeah, you could answer some questions for me, actually. - Matthew says ''Some'' sounds a little too indefinite. The idea people want to know us, investing is work.

Getting to know someone new all over, learning their life, quarks etc. is mind numbing but necessary to build the foundation of whether or not this is someone you want to "invest" in.

My point is - we give up to easily and when problems start we want to run. It is when you know a couple has made it 40 years, the ooo's and aahhh's start and the wow what is your secret questions occur - thinking they did something magical to overcome the exact same hurdles you or I have encountered in our own relationships.

We all battle over money, what the other is doing, who the other is talking to/emailing, but I've realized one thing or accept - people no matter how much you express to them how you feel about this or that, they will do what they want and you can't do anything about it other than suck it up and either work it out or chose another path.

It's that simple - we often request our significant other to change, act differently, but people don't change, guys/gals will say they will but don't and if they do it isn't for long before they are doing the same things again. Those who "do" change are the ones who don't change for someone else but who change because it is what they want to do for them. We should accept who we are with and all their flaws - love may be blind, but accepting is what it is all about.

I'm ranting here but my overall point is - whether you're serving your country and away on duty or you are in a long distance relationship - the idea someone will stay faithful is questionable. The lack of touch, companionship takes a toll on anyone.

My advice appreciate the time you have with them now, cause you never know when it may end but the hope for everyone is to overcome defeat and forgive those who betray us. Keep hoping for that special someone, only you, can know in your heart how much you want to commit - but please don't lead them to think you love them to overcome the idea of losing them.

 

Tagged: Love, Married, Cheating